Monday, March 30, 2015

Lewis and Henry: A Birth story.

Lewis Friedrich Millar on the Left, Henry Kenneth Millar on the right. 

These guys. They are about three weeks old now so I thought I should get their birth story down before all the tiny details fade. I doubt I will ever forget the story altogether, it is too memorable, but I just wanted to make sure I got everything down.
As I stated in my previous post, I had some complications in the end of my pregnancy and Lewis, who was baby A, ended up being breech. Due to these reasons I was going to have a scheduled c-section. I wasn't too worried about the surgery itself, but the recovery did worry me. Combined with all the "oh that's too bad" and "oh I'm so sorry" comments I got when I told people I was having a c-section started to worry me. Jokes's on them though cause my c-section was actually awesome, but more on that later. 
Anyway, the c-section was scheduled for March 12th, 2015 at 10am. I stopped working the last week in February so I could rest at home and get things done around the house before the babies came and that turned out to be a great idea. I got a lot done the first week in March, but I ended up saving somethings (like washing the rest of the baby stuff) until right before I was delivered. That was a mistake. 
Late Monday night, actually early Tuesday morning at about 12:30 I was getting ready for bed. I was in the bathroom washing my face when I felt this HUGE gush. I knew right away it was my water because there was no way I could pee that much and so spontaneously. I just remember saying "oh no, oh no, oh no" and called Chris into the bathroom. I said "So, my water just broke." and I believe his reply was " I hate you." Haha he was obviously not quite ready yet. We called the doctor while gathering our things, called my mom and his mom on the way to the hospital, and arrived around 1:30am I think. I wasn't having contractions so I got all hooked up and to be monitored for a while. I started having very mild contractions very far apart, but everything still looked fine so my doctor decided to wait until 7:30am to do the surgery. I said that's fine and tried to get some sleep. Chris fell asleep right away, I however, started to have more contractions. They started to get uncomfortable, but were still really far apart. Then there were really uncomfortable but still far apart. Then, around 5ish I want to say but I am not quite sure, they got really painful. And there didn't stop. I finally called the nurse in and said, I need some drugs. She said that was fine but my progress had to be checked. Ok cool, do what you gotta do. She started to check me and all of a sudden looked very panicked. She says " I need to call the other nurse" So in comes the other nurse and the one checking me says " I feel a foot and a face!" She thought they were both head down so she freaked out a bit, but once the other nurse said one was breech she was like "oh ok". But then she says, "Well the foot is actually starting to come out, because you're about 8 cm's dilated.  I am actually worried to remove my fingers I'm not sure what's going to happen." Ok, WHAT?! 
At this point, things get a little crazy. Chris wakes up and has no idea what's going on. Doctors are being called, I'm being prepped for surgery, Chris is getting on scrubs and all of a sudden I'm being wheeled into the OR. It was time for the spinal block (not epidural apparently because that's the one they give you when you're delivering vaginally.) and the older man who started it poked me in the spine, oh, 4 times and still couldn't get it in. Luckily, it was shift change time and his nicer, younger lady counterpart came in and had it in in one shot, in about 5 seconds. Bless her. My doctor arrived and I was rolled over and the sheet was put up because the surgery was about to begin. Chris came in and was seated next to me and all of a sudden I could not feel my lower half, it was intense. The surgery started and what feels like just a few minutes later, the doctor says "ok here comes the first baby!" and out he came! Screaming his head off and totally perfect. Lewis Friedrich Millar was born on March 10th 2015 at 6:33am weighing 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 19 and half inches long. He got a 9 out of 10 on his APGAR which is amazing for twins. A minute late the doctor said "and here is baby number 2" and at 6:34am, Henry Kenneth Millar joined the world, also crying. He was 6 pounds, 6 ounces and 19 and three quarters long and also got a 9 out of 10 on his APGAR. Two perfectly healthy and happy twins who did not need to spend time in the NICU, so awesome. 

I look sooo high. 


Unfortantly I didn't get to hold them. I was shaking really bad and didn't trust that I could so Chris held them both for me. I also then started throwing up so that was a bummer. But they got the babies all cleaned up and they finished up with my surgery and put us all in a hospital bed and wheeled us back into out room. My mom and mother in law and sister were there to take pictures real quick and say hello before the nurses kicked them out so we could recover. All in all, the surgery went really well. I couldn't feel anything the first day still, and the second and third day were painful I would say, but after that I felt a lot better. And now, at 3 weeks later, I mostly have forgotten that I just recently had a major abdominal surgery, it's pretty crazy. 
The boys did great after being born. They had some jaundice so we had to stay an extra day, but they released us on Friday the 13th because the boys were fine. I tried nursing, but never produced enough. They started formula in the hospital and honestly, being a first time mom of twins, we just continued it after the hospital. I felt bad at first, but at their 2 week check up, they had gained back their birth weight and then some! The pediatrician says they are perfectly healthy and has no problem with formula so I feel good about the decision.
All in all, I would say the pregnancy and delivery were pretty smooth sailing. I am so incredibly lucky to have had a good pregnancy, great delivery with no complications and two incredibly healthy boys who are thriving. I would say for twins we did an awesome job and I am really proud.

The Final Pregnancy post.

The color one in the middle is around week 32. I didn't manage to get a chalkboard picture that week.


As of today, I am no longer pregnant. I haven't been in about 3 weeks. But I thought I would do a final pregnancy wrap up post before I post the little guys birth story. 
Not altogether sure what to say about pregnancy. Pregnancy is a lot of things all at once: miraculous, exhausting, terrifying, amazing, wonderful and painful. It's actually a lot more things too, but those are the words that stick out most. The first trimester was pretty intense because I was sick all.the.time. I was sick until about 16 or 17 weeks I think. All day illness too, not just "morning" sickness. The first trimester is also stressful because there is the highest chance of losing the pregnancy and with twins it's worse which means I was out of my mind with worry most of the time. Also being sick I couldn't really eat and kept throwing up so I was stressed about that too. And you don't want to tell people in case something happens, but you also want to tell everyone so you have an explanation for constantly being sick and falling asleep in the middle of a sentence. Some women experience the need to pee all the time too but I never really had that in my pregnancy, so that's something I guess. Overall I would describe the first trimester as stressful.
The second trimester... yeah twin moms don't really have those. I was sick until week 16 or 17, then I had one week, one glorious week where I wasn't feeling sick and I had a little bump and I was comfortable. Then POP, there was the belly. Around week 20 I was already getting pretty pregnant and was already starting to get uncomfortable. So really, I didn't really have a second trimester. I went straight from the worry and sickness of the first to the discomfort of the third trimester. The coolest parts about the weeks in the second trimester is around week 17 (I think?) I felt them kick for the first time. That was the most incredible feeling ever. And then we found out we were having two boys at week 21 which was a lot of fun. I already knew it was 2 boys, but still fun! So overall,  I would describe the second trimester as non-exsistent. 
The third trimester... oh the third trimester. Or as I like to call it, a couple years worth of birth control. It was so awful that I am going to need at least a couple years before I brave that again. My third trimester was pretty insane. I became really uncomfortable and really huge really quickly. It was really neat to feel the boys kick and roll, but that also quickly became uncomfortable. Towards the end I thought for sure they were going to come ripping out of my skin. On top of the normal third trimester complaints, I developed Cholestasis of pregnancy around week 31. Basically that means my liver was not functioning properly and was pumping bile into my blood stream. Not very harmful to me, but it could harm the babies so I had to have blood tests and Non stress tests weekly after that. Oh and the best part of that? The ITCHING. Not just oh I have an itch, but more like I need to rip my skin off it itches so bad I can't even handle it. That kind of itching, and always between 2am and 5am in the morning. Although, to be fair that has really helped me now that the boys are here because I am used to being up then and can feed them without being a complete zombie. So I guess that worked out. Anyway, then around week 34 I had a faulty blood test and was rushed to the hospital and told I would be delivering my boys that night with like an hours notice. That was insane, as was the ambulance ride with a catheter in. Turns out I was fine, but I still had to spend 2 days in the hospital. It was awful. After that I had to see high risk doctors and go in 2 or 3 times a week until it was time for me to deliver. So overall, the third trimester was just painful. 
Don't get me wrong, I am extremely thankful for my pregnancy. I am incredibly thankful that I was able to get pregnant in the first place and that of all the things that could have gone wrong, my pregnancy was mostly uncomplicated. Especially with twins it could have been a lot worse so I am very thankful it wasn't. My body did a great job housing and growing these little humans and for the first time in my life I am really proud of my body. My stomach is a total wreck, but I am still proud of it. But overall, pregnancy is a real downer. Those women who have tons of kids must just deal with it better than me cause I am hoping to get pregnant with one girl next time, in about 3 years, and that's it. I'm done. We'll see that life has planned though, I am always pleasantly surprised. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

31 weeks.


( I look surprisingly chipper for someone who is wildly uncomfortable.)

How far along: 31 weeks.

Gender: Still boys.
Weight gain: 20-25 pounds I think. Still not doing bad which still surprises me since I frequently eat my weight in ice cream.
Maternity clothes: Uhhhhh nothing is fitting. Which is terrifying because I still have 5 more weeks at least! The belly is too big.
Stretch marks: Those have exploded in the last week. They weren't that bad before but they are pretty intense now. Still mostly just right around my belly button, but they are not good.
Belly button in or out: Annnnd it's out. Seeing as my belly is measuring at 40 weeks the timer is out.
Sleep: Gone. No more. Never again. I slept for 12 hours on Friday night and it was the most magical night of my life. I don't expect it to happen again.
Best moment this week: I seriously always have something to go here but then I can't remember what they are! Finding out the babies are measuring a little ahead was great though.
Miss anything: Not. Itching. Oh my God the itching, it is so awful. Had to take a blood test today to make sure it's not something bad, hopefully it's not.
Movement: They have been moving and stretching like crazy! And now it's getting kind of uncomfortable because they keep stretching my skin. My belly is really taking a beating.
Cravings: Nothing really specific this week. 
Queasy or sick: Nope, which is good cause at this stage that would mean something was wrong. 
Looking forward to: My baby showers coming up. Everyone keeps telling me they are going to be so cool, I'm pretty excited.


Oh man is it hitting. I feel like I am at 40 weeks, like I should be done and yet I still have 5 or 6 weeks left. The next month is going to be kind of rough, but I'll just keep keeping on. The babies are doing wonderful. They are huge and healthy. When they kick and move now my whole belly moves and it's pretty intense. Most of the time is just feels weird but now it is sometimes uncomfortable so I am getting prepared for that. I'm trying my best to best stay positive, but it's getting harder because it is getting downright painful. But we're going just going to keep going because they need to be bigger, and more pain for me now means less problems for them later so that's just what I'm going to do. Fingers crossed my body agrees with that mentality!

Monday, January 12, 2015

29 weeks.


( My resting bitch face is kind of intense in this picture. Pretty sure that's just how it looks all the time at this point.)

How far along: 29 weeks.

Gender: Still boys.
Weight gain: About 20 pounds the doctor told me today. She said that was really great, especially for twins. She said it seems to be going mostly to the twins which is awesome, less for me to lose later and better for them!
Maternity clothes: So, now most maternity tops are not really fitting. Yep. I have to buy extra-larges now all the time to git my belly. They don't quite fit me, but if I would like to have shirts to wear the remainder of this pregnancy it's what I have to do. And my pants are tight. It's a real bummer.
Stretch marks: Yep :( Not a ton, mostly around my belly button. The ultrasound lady told me today that she was surprised I wasn't more "stretched out"since I am having twins. So I guess it could be worse.
Belly button in or out: It is soooo close to popping out. Usually when I sit it does, I bet in the next week or two it'll come out.
Sleep: Oh sleep. I already miss you. Between getting up to use the restroom every hour or two and being really uncomfortable and really hot sleep is mostly lost. Guess I'll just get used to it.
Best moment this week: I had a moment to go here. I even told myself "this would be a great moment for the blog!" and now I have completely forgotten. Pregnancy brain is a real thing people. Its been a great week though, lots of great moments.
Miss anything: So.many.things. Sleep, ability to move, bend over and breath... oh and sleep?
Movement: They kick less than before, I think cause they are pretty much out of room. Baby A kicks, Baby B likes to stretch. I can feel his little back stretch up the right side of my belly. It's pretty neat. 
Cravings: Ice cream. All the ice cream. Pretty cliche.
Queasy or sick: Long gone. We've moved on to physical discomfort instead. 
Looking forward to: Getting to the end. I don't want them to come early mind you, just look forward to week 36!

The third trimester is in full swing! So much discomfort. I can't lay down, I can't sit, can't stand up, and now I get winded just walking more than 10 feet. At the doctor today she said I was measuring at about 37 weeks, so if I was having one baby, this would be my almost done tummy. I am pretty ready to be done. Like I said I don't want them here early, but I am ready for the end. It's looking like the end could be a c-section. Baby A, the twin who has to be head down to even attempt a vaginal birth, is now breech. If he doesn't move himself by my next ultrasound on the 26th, we're very much looking at a c-section. I expected it, but still makes me nervous. Really I'm nervous all the time now. They could actually pretty much come at any time now, which makes me really nervous. For the next few weeks they aren't big enough so that worries me, then once I get over that period it'll just be time for them to come. Doctor said we'll be lucky to get to 36 weeks, but it could be closer to 34. That's the middle of February and that is scary. Again, super excited to meet them, I just want them to be as cooked as possible. So here's to keeping them in for a while and hoping they still come out over 5 pounds, that's my goal. Keep cooking away in there babies!

Monday, December 29, 2014

27 weeks.

(Not sure what my face is doing here, kind of weird. )


How far along: 27 weeks and 1 day.

Gender: Still two boys. Today I needed an extra ultrasound and the tech said one of boys was grabbing his stuff. Because boys.
Weight gain: Closer to 20 pounds now I think. Doctor told me that I'm up 2 pounds since the last appointment, which is good. Gaining, but not too much. She says I'm doing well for twins.
Maternity clothes: All the way. In fact I need to buy more with my Christmas gift money, I think I'm going to need more than like 4 shirts.
Stretch marks: Yep, they've finally popped up :( I have a few around my belly button. They aren't super noticeable, but I sure can see them!
Belly button in or out: It's still in there! I am honestly surprised, it's getting to tiny!
Sleep: I've pretty much given up on sleep now. I even tried sleeping in today but I can't because my joints ache while I sleep and I have to switch positions constantly...it's a real bummer. Oh well, better get used to it right?
Best moment this week: It always seems to be my doctors appointments, probably because I have started doing these posts of the days of my appointments. But honestly today was great because they were measured and they are actually measuring big! Baby A is measuring at 28 weeks and Baby B is right on track at 27 weeks. They weigh probably a little over 2 pounds. Super excited about that they are measuring on track, for twins that's amazing!
Miss anything: Lots of things. Sleep, the ability to bend over or wear my wedding rings.
Movement: Still very busy in there. I was worried last week because I thought they were moving less, but turns out I was moving more and needed to just rest and then they moved. Also, I thought one twin was moving more than the other, turns out their feet are both on one side, which is why I was getting kicked on that side more. I should have guessed that.
Cravings: Nothing is particular, I just like food really. 
Queasy or sick: Not anymore!
Looking forward to: Entering my 3rd trimester next week (Pretty sure?) We're almost there! Soon I will have 2 squishy, wonderful little boys to hold and that's pretty exciting. Also terrifying, but it'll be ok.


I've had the last 5 days off and I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow. But I do still get Thursday off this week because of New Years, so that's awesome! I always hate when the Holidays are over. All the pretty decorations go away and so do the vacation days. It's a real bummer. This year will be way better though because I actually have something to look forward to in the spring! Two babies and a lot of time off! It's going to be glorious.
Today's appointment was wonderful. Hopefully I passed my gestational diabetes screen, I don't need that kind of drama in my life. But being able to see them and hear they are growing awesome made me feel a lot better. Just have to keep them growing! We're just doing a lot of growing right now, and waiting on the baby shower. Their nursery is done, now I just have to get all their essentials together which I will do after the shower. So just keep growing in there little guys! It's really not that uncomfortable yet so you do what you need to do! We love you!

Monday, December 15, 2014

25 weeks.




How far along: 25 weeks and 1 day.
Gender: Still two boys. We didn't look super closely at the ultrasound today but it seems to be unchanged!
Weight gain: Closer to 20 pounds now I think. I haven't really been keeping track. The doctor said today that I was doing great though, so that's really all that matters. 
Maternity clothes: In full maternity clothes now! Now I don't have to pull my shirts down all the time, which is much more comfortable but now it's obvious to everyone what's going on. Not sure how it wasn't before, but oh well.
Stretch marks: Still none! Pretty excited about that, but my doctor told me today that I'm going to get a lot bigger... so it probably won't last forever.
Belly button in or out: It's still hanging in there, but it's getting really close to popping out!
Sleep: Sleep is still rough. My joints get really sore during the night and it's a real bummer. The ultrasound tech says to me today "wow they are really high up, are your ribs uncomfortable yet?" Uhhh ya think?!
Best moment this week: Getting to see them today at my appointment. It's always the best moment of the week when I get an ultrasound!
Miss anything: Sleep. I miss sleep. I have a feeling I'll be saying that for years to come!
Movement: Still nuts about swimming around in there. I think they are now too big to do flips, but they most certainly kick and  punch! They are busy busy, I have a feeling I'm in trouble!
Cravings: Still no real cravings. Ice cream maybe, but mostly I just love everything!
Queasy or sick: Nope, way past that. It's fabulous!
Looking forward to: Finishing up their room, finally. Need to hang shelves, fix the mobile... lots of things to do!

The last two weeks haven't been bad. I actually feel fine during the day, it's at night and when I'm trying to go to bed that I am most uncomfortable. Of course. My ankles have been getting pretty big but apparently that's normal. I guess I have "popped" in the last week or so. I wore all my maternity shirts last week and people were shocked I was pregnant. Like it hasn't been obvious for the last month or so?! My favorite was a coworker of mine, who is also pregnant, that looked at me last week and said "When did that happen?" Um like 24 weeks ago? Who says that? Some people are nice about it, but mostly it's getting annoying. People like to tell me how hard it's going to be and bummed they would be. And I'm all, thanks? I wish people would just say congrats and walk away. Other than that, it's been going really well. Makes me kind of nervous that it's been going so well but I'm going to stay positive and hope things continue to go well. I love these little guys. Got to see their faces today, and they look a lot less like skeletor! I can't wait to meet them but at the same time it is really ok for them to stay in there and cook! I'm just praying that the rest of the time goes by smoothly and everything turns out great!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

23 Weeks.



How far along: 23 weeks and 2 days I think. I missed 21 weeks. I am bummed that I have poor follow through!
Gender: A Boy and a... Boy! Two boys, I was totally right! I knew all along!
Weight gain: Closer to 15 pounds I think, it's mostly belly honestly. 
Maternity clothes: Time to buy some maternity shirts. My shirts still fit but are way too short now. Time to give in and get some!
Stretch marks: Still just a few little white ones on my hips and butt, but none yet! Fingers crossed it stays that way!
Belly button in or out: It is soooo close to popping out! It gets smaller and smaller everyday. I should really take a picture of it everyday because it is hilarious.
Sleep: Sleep is getting harder. I wake up about every two hours to use the restroom and my ribs kill me every night so it's hard to comfortable. I just count it as sleep training for when they actually get here!
Best moment this week: Watching Chris get to feel them for the first time and watching them move through my skin. It is so weird, but probably the coolest thing ever.
Miss anything: Free movement. Seriously it's a bummer to have limited mobility all the time.
Movement: They move like Crazy! It's getting harder now too, and visible through my skin. It's nuts. 
Cravings: None in particular actually. Just loving food right now!
Queasy or sick: Nope that is way in the past and I LOVE it! I am physically uncomfortable but I'll take the over feeling queasy any day!
Looking forward to: Finishing up their room. Now that we know what they are I can go ahead and get all the decor done and it is so exciting!

I told everyone! I have literally been saying they were both boys since I found out they were twins at weeks 9! That was really exciting to find out. I don't know how people can wait until they deliver to find out! Now I can buy all the cute clothes and decorate their room. We have our eye on some names but we won't decide on those until they get here. I just feel more bonded to them now I guess, knowing that those are my boys in there and feeling their movements all the time. So far they seem to be growing great! At 21 weeks they were both about a pound at our big ultrasound so that is fantastic. This is just such an amazing experience, super uncomfortable physically, but when you think about it growing people is a pretty miraculous thing. I am very grateful that I was given this gift of these two growing boys, and I keep praying for their continued growth and good health. I just love them so much!